How to Choose the Perfect Soundtrack for Your Loved One’s Funeral
When someone we love passes away, music becomes more than sound. It becomes memory, comfort and connection. Choosing the right songs for a funeral can feel daunting - you want it to be perfect, yet in grief, even simple decisions can feel impossibly heavy.
The truth is, the “perfect soundtrack” isn’t about perfection at all. It’s about honesty.
The right piece of music will make you pause, breathe, and think, that’s them. Whether it’s a hymn, a chart hit, or a quiet instrumental, music has a way of carrying people through loss and bringing everyone together in reflection.
Why Music Matters
Think of any major life event - a wedding, a birthday, a film scene - and chances are, you’ll remember the music before the details.
Funerals are no different.
Music provides emotional punctuation. It lets people cry when they need to, smile when they can, and connect when words fall short. A single track can evoke decades of memories or offer a moment of stillness amid the formality of a service.
For some, music brings comfort through faith and tradition. For others, it’s about celebrating personality - favourite artists, film soundtracks, even football anthems. Whether the service is solemn or spirited, sound shapes the memory of it.
Reflecting the Person Behind the Music
The best place to start is with them. What music filled their home, their car, their celebrations? What lyrics would have made them laugh? Did they sing along to Frank Sinatra, hum classical melodies, or belt out Ed Sheeran in the kitchen?
Some families gather together to talk about this - each person remembering a song or a moment. It’s a healing conversation in itself. You might find one song everyone agrees on instantly, or a few that feel like different sides of the same story.
If you’re unsure where to begin, try asking yourself a few simple questions:
Which artists or genres defined them most?
Are there songs tied to specific life events - weddings, holidays, or shared memories?
Did they ever say, “Play this at my funeral”?
Try not to overthink “what’s expected”. Funerals today are more flexible than ever. A reflection track doesn’t have to be slow, and a farewell song doesn’t have to be sombre. The most moving ceremonies are those that sound like the person they’re for.
Tradition Meets Modern
For many families, funeral hymn choices such as Abide With Me and Amazing Grace still bring shared comfort and familiarity. Increasingly, though, they sit alongside contemporary songs for funerals - a blend of tradition and personality.
Some families choose popular funeral songs like My Way or Somewhere Over the Rainbow; others prefer uplifting funeral songs that end on hope, or quietly sad funeral songs that give space for reflection. There’s no “right” formula, only what feels authentic.
More families now combine timeless pieces with modern tracks. Canon in D might open a chapel service, followed by Supermarket Flowers or Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Others choose songs from films or TV - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python has become a national favourite for those who prefer humour over solemnity.
There’s also a growing move towards live music. A family member playing guitar, a local choir singing, a child performing something small but heartfelt - these moments linger longer than any recording.
The important thing is not whether a song is traditional or modern, but whether it feels meaningful.
Crafting the Flow of the Day
Music quietly carries people through each part of the service. Think of it as the emotional thread that ties the ceremony together.
Arrival
As guests arrive, gentle funeral entry music helps people settle and find their place, creating the first emotional connection to the person being remembered.
Favourites include:
Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran
My Way by Frank Sinatra
Reflection or Committal
This is the heart of the service. Funeral reflection songs, whether instrumental or lyrical, should be delivered clearly and at the right level so the moment feels intimate, not overwhelmed.
Favourites include:
You’ll Never Walk Alone, Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton
Here, the sound quality matters most - clear, balanced audio allows everyone to feel present without distraction.
Departure
The final track is what people carry with them. Thoughtful funeral exit music can be uplifting or calm, closing the ceremony on a note that feels true to the person.
Favourites include:
What a Wonderful World
Simply the Best
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
The order is about pacing emotion; opening gently, allowing depth, and ending with hope.
Making it Personal
A little creativity goes a long way. A short video tribute set to your loved one’s favourite music can bring their story to life, pairing photos or home clips with familiar sounds. Many families also create playlists to share afterwards, offering guests something lasting to take home.
If you have musical friends or relatives, consider inviting them to perform a song live. It doesn’t have to be perfect; the personal touch matters more than polish.
For families planning a celebration of life, music can even frame the entire event - from walking into upbeat songs that capture joy, to background tracks that encourage conversation and smiles.
Here are a few ways to personalise the experience:
Include one or two songs that meant something specific to your loved one - a favourite artist or a tune tied to a memory.
Use background music before or after the service to create an atmosphere without formality.
Consider a recording of your loved one’s voice or favourite saying between songs - a small but powerful tribute.
Practical Guidance for the Day
Once you’ve chosen the music, a few practical details will help everything run smoothly.
Ask your funeral director how songs should be submitted - most venues prefer digital files rather than links. Streaming directly from Spotify or YouTube isn’t usually allowed, as it breaches copyright, but licensed systems like Obitus have permissions in place to play almost any track legally.
If the service includes a video or slideshow, make sure it’s tested in advance. Tribute videos rely on perfect timing between sound and visuals, and that’s hard to achieve without professional AV support.
Outdoor or graveside services may need portable equipment. Funeral directors often use portable PA systems to make sure music carries clearly, even in open air. For hybrid or livestreamed funerals, audio checks ensure those joining remotely can hear every note at the same moment as those in person.
These behind-the-scenes details might seem small, but they make a world of difference when emotions are high.
Themes & Inspiration
If you’re unsure where to begin, explore a few funeral music ideas and see what resonates. These funeral song ideas work well across services and memorials:
Traditional & Hymns (reverent memorial service songs): Abide With Me, Amazing Grace, Ave Maria
Classical & Instrumental (calm, reflective): Canon in D, Nimrod, Clair de Lune
Modern & Emotional (contemporary funeral songs): Supermarket Flowers (Ed Sheeran), Someone You Loved (Lewis Capaldi)
Uplifting & Hopeful (popular funeral songs for a brighter close): Always Look on the Bright Side of Life, What a Wonderful World, My Way
Celebration of Life (music for a celebration of life): Three Little Birds, Simply the Best, You’ve Got a Friend
Mixing one or two pieces from different headings often creates a balanced, personal soundtrack.
Involving Family and Friends
Choosing music can be a shared act of remembrance. Ask friends and relatives for suggestions - songs that remind them of your loved one, or that hold a story.
These conversations often lead to laughter and connection. You might uncover memories you’d forgotten, or find a song that means something different to each person. Even disagreements can lead to something beautiful when you focus on why a song feels important, not just whether people “like” it.
Some families make collaborative playlists in the days leading up to the service, using them as a way to gather stories, cry, and smile together. It can turn a painful task into a healing ritual.
Working with Your Funeral Director
Your funeral director is there to help with the technical and logistical side. They’ll know what equipment the venue uses, how to prepare your chosen songs, and whether tribute videos can be shown.
If your venue uses Obitus, you’ll have access to a vast library of over 300,000 licensed tracks - from traditional hymns to modern chart songs - all handled legally and played at professional quality. The team can even help locate less common tracks on request.
Directors also liaise with celebrants or clergy to ensure the music flows naturally within the order of service. This means you can relax, knowing the soundtrack is in safe hands.
After the Service
For many families, the music doesn’t end when the service does. Those same songs often become part of anniversaries, remembrance days, or quiet moments of reflection.
You might create a shared playlist to keep the memories close or listen to the tracks privately when you need comfort. Some families even play the same song at future gatherings - a subtle reminder that love continues in melody long after words have faded.
Music can become part of healing. It moves with you through grief, reminding you that while a person may be gone, their spirit still sings.
Conclusion
There’s no single formula for choosing funeral music - only what feels right for your loved one and your family. It might be sacred, silly, soulful, or a little of each. What matters most is that the sound feels like them.
Music has a way of holding the moments we can’t hold ourselves. With the help of your funeral director and the right audio support, you can create a ceremony that’s not just a farewell, but a reflection - a reminder of everything your loved one brought to life, and to you.
FAQs
How many songs are usually played during a funeral?
Typically three to five. One as guests arrive, one or two during reflection, and one as people depart. Some families include background music as guests gather or leave the venue.
Can I use songs from Spotify or YouTube at a funeral?
Streaming directly from Spotify or YouTube isn’t usually allowed, as it breaches copyright — only providers with a PRS/PPL licence can legally play commercial tracks at funerals (PRS for Music Funeral Guidelines). Licensed systems like Obitus already include this coverage, ensuring your chosen songs can be played safely and professionally.
What if the funeral songs I want aren’t traditional choices?
That’s absolutely fine. Many families now prefer personal or even humorous tracks for a celebration of life. The goal is authenticity, not tradition.
Do hymns have to be included in funeral music choices?
No, only choose a hymn if it holds meaning. Some hymns are chosen for comfort or familiarity, even in non-religious services, but they’re entirely optional.
Can different songs be played for funeral livestreams or tribute videos?
Yes - but these may need separate permissions. Licensed providers handle this automatically to keep things compliant and stress-free.
